Master Proscrastinator

Exam Jo

J: OMG LOOK AT WHAT I DREW INSTEAD OF WRITING MY PAPER.

S: Okay. Well, just start writing it now?

J: I think I'm going to colour it.

..........15 minutes later

J: LOOK! BITCH, I WASN'T KIDDING.

Last Night...

I Wish I -

J: OH GOD, is it I wish I "was" or I wish I "were"?
S: I mean, you'd say "If I were a blah blah", so "were"?
J: But... what about... "I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller..."
S: That's your grammatical rationale? SKEE-LO?

Daughter #1

My Sister is an Asshole - Exhibit G(?):
Mum: Hello daughter #1 (to me)
Shan: She's daughter #1 out of your vagina, but I'm daughter #1 in your heart.